San Antonio Roller Hockey League
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03/01/2026
8:00PM: Russia (H) vs Czechia (A)
9:00PM: Russia (H) vs Italy (A)
As always, check Facebook for updates and pick-up
Last site update: 02/26/26 23:54
Game Previews
Week 2 Preview
Game 1 Preview: Russia 🇷🇺 vs Czechia 🇨🇿
Narrative:
Week 2 kicks off with a rematch from last week as Russia faces off against Czechia — and boy, is it starting to feel like these teams are on a tour together. The bad news? Czechia still doesn’t have a goalie. The good news? They do, but it’s Taylor Newton, and he’s back from his California vacation tan, rested, and presumably not wearing sandals in net.
Russia, meanwhile, will try to continue their perfect (and heavily caveated) start. Their 2-0 record is as legit as a Jaiden team playoff run — looks great on paper until you start asking questions.
Key Storylines:
- Collin Iacarella is still cooking, but rumors swirl that if he scores too many, he might have to start showing up weekly. Will he bother showing up to the game just to protect his “double headers only” contract?
- Jacob Hernandez is quietly becoming the Robin to Collin’s Batman. And by Robin, we mean the Chris O’Donnell Robin from Batman and Robin. Oof.
- Taylor Newton’s return should stabilize Czechia’s back end… or he’ll overcommit on a poke check and just call it quits after missing.
Czechia Without Mallery:
The Czech defense will have to cover for Mike Mallery’s absence, which means someone else is going to have to pretend to care about defensive positioning this week. Odom? Darin? Neil Lewis maybe?
Prediction:
Russia probably still wins this one, but if Newton plays lights-out and Czechia pretends to know how to backcheck, we might get our first OT of the season. Maybe.
Game 2 Preview: Czechia 🇨🇿 vs Italy 🇮🇹
Narrative:
Fresh off 36 minutes of exhaustion and broken dreams, Czechia gets to turn right around and face Italy in the second game of the night. Italy, as always, is a bit of a mystery — one part tamale-fueled chaos, one part Ray Ortega yelling about something nobody else saw, and one part Felipe Rodriguez pretending he’s retired.
Italy, coming off a close loss to Russia, is definitely looking to get on the board. Czechia? Probably just looking around trying to find someone to blame for the predicament they find themselves in.
Key Storylines:
- David Narvaiz has shown flashes of competence — could he be the hero Italy never asked for?
- Which Ray is which? And more importantly, can either of them stay out of the penalty box?
- Felipe’s Fake Retirement Tour continues in net, likely with a few dramatic glove saves followed by 3 “should have had them” goals.
Unknown Variables:
- Will Czechia have enough left in the tank for Game 2?
- Will Darin say anything postgame that forces us to roast him in the recap?
- Will Gilbert remember what team he’s on?
Prediction:
This one feels like the toss-up. If Italy rolls deep with a full squad, they can absolutely catch Czechia asleep at the wheel. But if Czechia rallies around Newton and plays like they did in Game 2 last week, it could be close — or, at least entertaining.
Watchlist – Players to Keep an Eye On
- Collin Iacarella (Russia) – 5 goals already and barely trying. Will he be present this week in the hunt for that MVP narrative or does he only care every third week?
- Brandon Popham (Czechia) – With Mallery out, he may need to skate 3x as much. He won’t, but he might yell about it.
- Ashton Baggett (Italy) – The king of disappearing after scoring one goal. Can he make it two this week? The pressure’s on.
- Ray Salvano (Italy) – It’s never the same game when Ray doesn’t trip someone and then argue it wasn’t his fault.
Quick Stats
Standings
| Team | W | L | OTL | Pts |
| Czechia | 3 | 1 | 0 | 6 |
| Russia | 2 | 2 | 0 | 4 |
| Italy | 1 | 1 | 2 | 4 |
p = President’s Trophy
* = Clinched Playoff Berth
e = Eliminated from Playoffs
League Leaders
| Player | Team | G | A | Pts |
| Popham, B | Czechia | 4 | 5 | 9 |
| Yupanqui, J | Italy | 6 | 1 | 7 |
| Narvaiz, D | Italy | 6 | 1 | 7 |
| Goalie | Team | W | GAA | SV% |
| Newton, T | Czechia | 3 | 4.67 | 0.808 |
| Artzberger, G | Russia | 2 | 3.00 | 0.862 |
| Rodriguez, F | Italy | 1 | 4.50 | 0.824 |
Minimum 1 games played
League News
Week 3 Recap
This is peak SARHL nonsense and we love every second of it.
Game 1
Czechia 10 – Italy 9 (SO)
“Defense Was Optional. Goaltending Was Theoretical.”
If you blinked, you missed three goals.
If you looked away, you missed five.
This was not hockey. This was competitive chaos.
Scoring Summary
| Period | Time | Team | Goal Scorer | Assists | Score |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 2:28 | Italy | Narvaiz, David | Yupanqui, Junior | ITA 1 – 0 CZE |
| 1 | 4:40 | Italy | Ortega, Ray | none | 2 – 0 |
| 1 | 6:27 | Czechia | Deary, Micah | Popham, Brandon | 2 – 1 |
| 1 | 7:02 | Czechia | Deary, Micah | none | 2 – 2 |
| 1 | 11:55 | Italy | Narvaiz, David | none | 3 – 2 |
| 2 | 1:18 | Czechia | Popham, Brandon | Lewis, Neil | 3 – 3 |
| 2 | 2:37 | Italy | Narvaiz, David | none | 4 – 3 |
| 2 | 3:43 | Czechia | Minerd, Andrew | Deary, Micah | 4 – 4 |
| 2 | 6:44 | Czechia | Lewis, Neil | Popham, Brandon | 4 – 5 |
| 2 | 8:14 | Italy | Narvaiz, David | Ortega, Ray | 5 – 5 |
| 2 | 9:55 | Italy | Yupanqui, Junior | none | 6 – 5 |
| 2 | 10:27 | Czechia | Deary, Micah | none | 6 – 6 |
| 2 | 11:40 | Italy | Yupanqui, Junior | none | 7 – 6 |
| 3 | 1:16 | Czechia | Minerd, Andrew | Eash, Darrin | 7 – 7 |
| 3 | 3:56 | Czechia | Deary, Micah | Popham, Brandon | 7 – 8 |
| 3 | 5:08 | Czechia | Deary, Micah | Popham, Brandon / Foss, David | 7 – 9 |
| 3 | 9:29 | Italy | Ortega, Ray | none | 8 – 9 |
| 3 | 11:59 | Italy | Ortega, Ray | Narvaiz, David | 9 – 9 |
Penalty Summary
None.
Which feels criminal.
The Game That Forgot What Defense Was
Italy was short-handed and reached into Junior’s trunk to retrieve Jacob Hernandez, just like old times. It worked — sort of. What didn’t work was any semblance of defensive structure from either team.
This was pond hockey with slightly better jerseys.
Both goalies decided positioning was optional. Pucks were going in from angles normally reserved for trick-shot YouTube channels. At one point it felt like first team to 12 wins — except neither team could hold a lead for more than 90 seconds.
Micah Deary absolutely detonated this game with five goals and looked like he was playing NHL ’94 on easy mode. Narvaiz countered with four of his own like a man trying to singlehandedly earn Player of the Week.
The Controversy
With Czechia clinging to a 9–8 lead in the final seconds, Italy won an offensive-zone faceoff and moved it back to Ray Ortega.
Ray loaded up.
The ref — using the dreaded electric whistle — prematurely “blew” the play dead.
Ray fired anyway.
Goal.
Confusion.
Bench outrage.
Shrugs.
Ref admitted the mistake.
Goal stands.
Because this is SARHL and consistency is for other leagues.
9–9.
Overtime
Nothing happened.
Obviously zero goals.
Probably zero shots.
Possibly zero skating.
Absolutely zero effort.
On to the shootout.
Shootout Summary
Italy: 0 / 6
Czechia: 1 / 6
Round after round of lost pucks, bobbled dekes, and existential dread.
- Junior sent Adam Dixon out first. Newton couldn’t read him — mostly because Dixon didn’t know what he was doing either.
- Micah and Neil both fumbled attempts between the circles.
- Rick Odom even took a turn. It went as expected.
Then came Mike Mallery for Czechia.
He confidently announced beforehand:
“I’m going fake shot leg pump, backhand. Felipe fell for it years ago.”
With considerably less grace than advertised, Mallery executed something vaguely resembling the move… and it worked.
Newton then sealed it with a full-extension diving pokecheck on Jake.
Game over.
Three Stars
★ Micah Deary (CZE)
5 goals. Absolute menace. Probably still scoring somewhere.
★★ David Narvaiz (ITA)
4 goals and dragged Italy into a game they didn’t deserve to win.
★★★ Mike Mallery (CZE)
Shootout hero. Self-proclaimed genius. Actually backed it up for once.
Final Thoughts
- This was not hockey.
- This was not structured.
- This was not defensively responsible.
But it was absolutely SARHL.
Czechia takes another shootout win — and that SO point continues to loom large in the standings.
And somehow… we still had another game to play that night.
Game 2
Italy 4 – Russia 3
“From Death Metal to Kenny G.”
If Game 1 was a 10-goal guitar solo, Game 2 was soft saxophone in an elevator. Everyone agreed — silently — to not skate that hard. And honestly? It showed.
Italy skated away with a 4–3 win in what can only be described as aggressively average hockey.
Scoring Summary
| Period | Time | Team | Goal Scorer | Assists | Score |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 2:41 | Italy | Yupanqui, Junior (PP) | none | ITA 1 – 0 RUS |
| 2 | 5:58 | Italy | Yupanqui, Junior | none | 2 – 0 |
| 2 | 7:25 | Russia | Popham, Brandon (Sub) | Hernandez, Jaiden / Lewis, Neil (Sub) | 2 – 1 |
| 2 | 8:47 | Italy | Narvaiz, David | Ortega, Ray | 3 – 1 |
| 3 | 0:33 | Italy | Yupanqui, Junior | Mallery, Mike (Sub) | 4 – 1 |
| 3 | 3:22 | Russia | Vargas, Augie | none | 4 – 2 |
| 3 | 5:15 | Russia | Vargas, Augie | Chase, Ian / Hernandez, Jacob | 4 – 3 |
Penalty Summary
| Period | Time | Team | Player | Infraction |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 2:40 | Russia | Chase, Ian | Hooking |
One penalty. Immediately punished. Clean, efficient, and very un-SARHL-like.
A Softer Brand of Chaos
Both teams were short, so they went shopping at the Czechia bench.
- Jaiden grabbed Popham and Neil Lewis.
- Junior reluctantly adopted Mike Mallery after being defeated by puppy dog eyes.
And somehow, this game felt… structured.
Disturbing.
The Real MVP: The Scoresheet
Let’s talk about what truly mattered:
Taylor Newton’s immaculate scorekeeping.
- Shots recorded.
- Per period.
- In the section labeled “Shots.”
- With notes.
We are in the presence of greatness. What a stud.
Notable (Or Not) Moments
- Greg Artzberger’s flying pokecheck broke up a 2-on-1 early. A rare moment of athleticism that likely required a nap afterward.
- Greg then “flashed leather” on a breakaway by Adam Dixon. We refuse to define what that means.
- Junior missed a wide open net with one second left in the first. A certified Jr™ moment.
- Jake made a defensive play. It was written down. That’s how rare it was.
- Multiple notes about “backdoor opportunities.” We are choosing to believe this was hockey terminology.
And of course:
A lone fan shouted, “Hit Jr in the cock!” during a slapshot wind-up.
The Olympic spirit lives.
The Game Winner
Early in the third, Mallery blocked a shot off his kneecap which missed all the padding. No one noticed. No one cared.
He then calmly winged the puck down ice to Junior, who scored what became the game-winner.
From neglected casualty to primary assist. Cinema.
Late Drama (Sort Of)
Augie netted two slow rollers through Felipe’s legs to make things interesting. Both trickled in with the urgency of a slow-leaking faucet.
With Artzberger pulled, Russia turned into a goaltending clinic:
- Jaiden
- Ian
- Augie
Three blocked shots at the empty net.
How do we get goalies like that?
⭐ Three Stars
★ Junior Yupanqui (ITA)
Hat trick. Missed open net. Balanced performance.
★★ Augie Vargas (RUS)
Two greasy goals to make it respectable.
★★★ David Narvaiz (ITA)
The only other goal scorer playing for his actual team.
Final Thoughts
- Game 1: chaos.
- Game 2: calm.
- Both: deeply SARHL.
Italy takes the 4–3 win in a game nobody will remember next week except Taylor Newton, who has the documentation to prove it happened.
Week 3 splits the narrative.
Czechia takes the thriller.
Italy takes the jazz nightcap.
Russia leaves wondering why they always feel slightly unfinished.
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