San Antonio Roller Hockey League

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Important Info

03/22/26 – Week 5

8:00PM: Czechia (H) vs Italy (A)
9:00PM: Czechia (H) vs Russia (A)

As always, check Facebook for updates and pick-up

Last site update: 03/20/26 23:54

Game Previews

Week 4 Preview

Game 1

Rush Hour (I-35) vs. The Traffic Cones (Loop 1604)
“The battle of the backups, the bruised egos, and Brian Van Vlymen’s last nerve and game.”

Storylines to Watch:

Rush Hour is playing above their pay grade most nights. They’re 2-1-1 with a stranglehold on second place… but in this league, that’s like being the skinniest kid at fat camp. Missing Coach Penn, Jake, and Micah has hurt, but not nearly as much as watching Shanahan score and smile about it. Gross.
1604 is that team that can score in bunches but then forgets how to play defense halfway through the second period. They’re 1-2-1, and without some lineup consistency, they may find themselves in the Recap Basement™ before long.
Zack Merullo is might be back after a serious bout turf toe and lamented ego. Let’s see if he pads his assist total or pads his excuses.
BVV vs. Mallery (again?) is always must-watch. Mallery was seen flipping BVV the bird last time they matched up. Better than day-time soaps.
Gilbert and Casella need to keep feeding Jaiden the puck — not because he’s the best option, but because he’s the loudest if they don’t.
Felipe will have to be sharp for Rush Hour. His team’s defense is basically made of popsicle sticks and best intentions.

Prediction:
This one depends on whether Penn is back from wherever he’s been (Canada? Jury duty? Personal retreat?). If he’s in the lineup, Rush Hour can steal this one. If not, 1604 may finally find their rhythm. Either way, expect at least one controversial goal, two self-assigned captaincies, and someone asking if we have sunscreen for an 8pm game.

Game 2

Rush Hour (I-35) vs. Drug Mules (I-10)
“The rematch that absolutely no one asked for.”

Key Context:

The Mules are still riding high atop the standings at 3-1-0, and if you don’t like it, Junior doesn’t care. He’s not here for your feelings. He’s here to awkwardly toe-drag around defenders and mutter about past championships.
Collin Iacarella, the SARHL’s own hot/cold enigma, might show up again just long enough to drop 2+ goals before disappearing for another three weeks.
Ray Ortega has quietly put together a nice season. Like too quiet. Like “Is he trying to avoid taxes?” quiet.
Meanwhile, Rush Hour will be battling heat stroke and self-doubt in the second half of their double header. At this point, they’re really just hoping Micah shows up and Shanahan doesn’t regress.
Augie is playing like a man trying to win a bet with his chiropractor. Expect another greasy goal and 14 missed passes.
Taylor Newton hasn’t blinked in three games. That’s not a metaphor. We’re starting to worry.

X-Factor:
The heat. By the second game, legs are noodles, tempers are short, and Felipe starts randomly wandering out of his crease to stretch. Whoever manages their subs (or shows up with any) has the upper hand.

Prediction:
The Mules continues to dominate the season series unless Rush Hour finds its core again. Or Jaiden subs in for both teams and cancels himself out. There’s a strong chance of this happening. Either way, expect a slower game with at least one goalie yelling at their own bench.

Bonus Prop Bets of the Week:

Over/Under on “unintentional too many men” penalties: 1.5
Odds Jaiden refers to himself as “Captain” and/or “Gorgeous” at least once: -250
Number of complaints about refs from players who don’t ref: 7
Number of actual game pucks used: 5
Number of assists Zack almost gets but someone botches the finish: 4

Quick Stats

Standings

Team	W	L	OTL	Pts
Czechia	4	1	0	8
Italy	2	1	2	6
Russia	2	4	0	4

p = President’s Trophy
* = Clinched Playoff Berth
e = Eliminated from Playoffs

League Leaders

Player	Team	G	A	Pts
Ortega, R	Italy	8	3	11
Popham, B	Czechia	5	5	10
Narvaiz, D	Italy	8	1	9

Goalie	Team	W	GAA	SV%
Newton, T	Czechia	4	3.75	0.847
Artzberger, G	Russia	2	4.17	0.824
Rodriguez, F	Italy	1	4.50	0.824

Minimum 1 games played

Full Stats

League News

Week 2 Recap

Game 1

Loop 1604 (7) vs Interstate 35 (9)
A Disappointment Wrapped in a Letdown Sprinkled With a Hint of Sad Trombone

Goal Scorers – 1604:

BVV (x3) – Netting the league’s quietest hat trick since Micah’s “I thought that was warmups” game.
Jaiden (x2) – Scored one early, faked five more.
Gilbert (x1) – Still the best two-way player in this game. He would’ve done more, but Jaiden kept calling for the puck.
Zack (x1) – With one foot and some turf toe, he still managed to pick up a goal. Assist pending review… by him.

Goal Scorers – I-35:

Penn (x5) – Put the team on his back, skated 30 minutes, and only swore at Shanahan twice. Growth.
Neil (x3) – The goat of the team. And by that, we mean the ones that stand on the sides of vertical cliffs.
Augie (x1) – Had a million chances, finally capitalized on the only one that mattered.

This game had all the hallmarks of a classic SARHL matchup:
✅ Missing goalies
✅ Phantom goals
✅ Wild momentum swings
✅ Injured egos AND bodies

The story for this game was the missing goalies. Greg Artzberger was MIA for 1604 leaving team captain Andrew Minerd to suit up – the man of many talents. Not to be outdone, Felipe Rodriguez decided to skip leg day and subsequently the game for I35. He said had to make a quick stop in Florida to pick up some milk. Something seems suspicious about that. Rick Odom got the call to suit up for I35 despite Taylor Newton standing around doing little to nothing for the first game.

Naturally, I-35 fell behind early — because that’s what they do. Jaiden wasted no time putting 1604 on the board, and Gilbert made it 2-0 before I-35 realized the game had started. Classic.

Penn finally struck back late in the first and then gave a heartfelt speech that boiled down to: “You’re all trash. Let me fix it.” And he did. Five goals later, everyone agreed he’s right.

The second period was chaotic, highlighted by a rare Zack Merullo cameo goal, which came just moments after a dramatic boards collision and a quiet whisper of “I’m out.” A goal and a ghost exit? Zack’s season is off to a cinematic start.

Then came the phantom goal. BVV took a shot, the puck slipped behind Odom and died just touching the goal line, and Jaiden did the ol’ arms-up celebration. Ref Jr didn’t see it but was spiritually moved enough to signal a goal. Jaiden tried it again. And again. And again. But Jr’s clairvoyance apparently has a cooldown period. What we did learn from this is that Jaiden is probably a terrible poker player. But, as they say, the victors write history – That puck never crossed the line. End of story. Suck it Jaiden.

1604 entered the third with a 3-goal cushion. And then… nothing. They were so convinced they had it won, they forgot to skate. I-35 buried 5 straight in a shocking comeback, with Augie playing hero late in the third. His shot was perfect, the celebration muted. You love to see it.

Also:

Shanahan once again muttered, “We’ve got them right where we want them” while down by 3. Well, even a broken clock is right twice a day.
Jaiden broke his stick. Someone wrote that on the scoresheet. He wanted us to point that out. We can check that off the “To Do” list.
We missed Foss.

Final Thought:
I-35 had no goalie, no bench, and no business winning this game. But 1604 played like a team that left the oven on at home. This one will sting, and if Minerd’s mask had a mic, it would’ve captured some choice words.

Game 2

Loop 1604 (6) vs Interstate 10 (4)
It Started Bad. It Ended Worse. Somewhere in the Middle, We Yawned.

Goal Scorers – Loop 1604:

Jaiden (x3) – When in doubt, let Jaiden Jaiden. He’s not passing anyway.
BVV (x2) – Put in a shift. Mostly for himself.
Casella (x1) – Was full stealth mode all game. Scored late, though.

Goal Scorers – I-10:

Junior (x3) – Tried. Failed. Tried again. Still failed. But hey, hatty!
Ashton (x1) – Snuck one in. Quietly faded away like a fart in the wind.

So here’s what happened: 1604 showed up angry. I-10 showed up… confused?

After the collapse in Game 1, Minerd stayed in net and vowed to not let his own team sabotage him twice. It worked. Sort of.

Taylor Newton suited up for I-10 while Rick Odom, ever hopeful, kept his pads on just in case. He was last seen doing stretches and staring longingly at the crease like a dog watching its owner leave for work.

The game began as expected — 1604 dominated the first period while I-10 looked like they were still trying to find their bench. Jaiden popped in two goals, complete with full theatrical narration in between shifts. He was heard telling the team, “We’re going to get through this, but only if you give me the puck.” Motivational stuff.

On the I-10 side, Junior was eerily quiet. We don’t mean “locked in” quiet. We mean “disassociated from his body” quiet. The silence was deafening.

The second period? A brief flicker of life. BVV made it 3-0 after ignoring every open teammate’s calls for a pass and scoring on pure spite alone. That apparently woke up Junior, who snuck in two quick goals, while Ashton even managed to look relevant for a minute. Suddenly, it was tied 3-3.

But I-10 can’t have nice things. Not for long. BVV, still in “me first” mode, decided to respond immediately with a goal that may or may not have come after a full-on offside that we use a special rule for him (that he doesn’t know about yet).

The third was what you’d expect from two tired teams and one overworked goalie: slow, sloppy, and sad. 1604’s Popham got the full SARHL blueline experience: ate a shot off something, bruised his ego, and hobbled to the bench. He was last seen icing his emotional damage.

Jaiden and BVV both notched one more to go up 6-3. Junior chipped in a final garbage-time goal, but at that point, most of I-10 had already mentally packed up and started peeling off their gear.

Final Thought:
If the first game was a disappointment, this one was the post-credits scene that no one asked for. 1604 rebounds with a win that feels like it came at the cost of everyone’s dignity. I-10 falls flat and looks like they peaked 10 minutes into the season opener.