San Antonio Roller Hockey League
Updates
Important Info
06/14/2026
Week 4
8:00 PM | Big Smasher (H) vs Titos Punch (A)
9:00 PM | Big Smasher (H) vs Sauced Mozz (A)
We are a little behind on stats and updates this week. They will be completed ASAP.
As always, check Facebook for updates and pick-up
Last site update: 06/13/26 01:28
Game Previews
SARHL 2025 Spring Playoff Preview
The Madness Begins
The regular season is officially in the books, and now three teams out of a field of three teams remain standing in the pursuit of eternal SARHL glory (or at least bragging rights until fall). The Mariguanas sit comfortably in the final, waiting to see which team survives the semi-final slugfest between the Disoriented Dolphins and Remember the Armadillos.
Let’s preview Game 1, and take a look at how either outcome sets the stage for the championship.
Game 1 – Disoriented Dolphins vs. Remember the Armadillos
If there’s one matchup that guarantees chaos, it’s this one. The Dolphins have been wildly inconsistent, mixing moments of brilliance with stretches of absolute disorganization. Junior remains the team’s heartbeat, deciding when and if he wants to score, while Zack, Ron, and Ryan have contributed in waves. Collin K has quickly made a name for himself with his relentless pressure and occasional buzzsaw-level energy bursts. If this group syncs up, they’re a real threat.
The Armadillos, on the other hand, have made a living out of surviving games they had no business being in. With Minerd bouncing around the ice like a utility knife, and Gilbert and Popham hyping themselves into roles they can almost fill, they’re SARHL’s most lovable mess. If Micah or Penn actually show up, the Dillos can be dangerous. If not, they’ll need some classic Foss and Augie magic and a Mallery miracle or two.
Key to Watch:
- Can the Dolphins control the tempo or will they try to win the game in the final three minutes like always?
- Will the Armadillos roll out a full roster—or just vibes and duct tape?
- How long until Mallery starts yelling at someone?
Prediction: This one’s a coin flip. If Junior shows up motivated and the Dolphins remember how line changes work, they should edge it out. If not, the Dillos might stumble into another overtime win and somehow advance.
Championship Game Preview (Scenario 1): Mariguanas vs. Disoriented Dolphins
In their previous meeting, the Dolphins managed to take down the Mariguanas 7-6 in one of the more entertaining games of the season, featuring Zack’s flying game-winner and Jaiden’s spiraling confusion on what a power play is. This rematch would be must-watch.
If the Dolphins make the final, it’ll be a battle of pace and composure. Collin Iacarella continues to dominate for the Mariguanas, while Reuben, BVV, and Ray (whichever one) provide a scoring depth most teams can’t match. The problem? They’ve only looked functional without Jaiden.
Expect Junior to bring every trick he has, from sneaky zone entries to quiet muttering motivation. If he plays both ends, and Zack’s involved from puck drop, the Mariguanas will have to earn every inch.
Key to Watch:
- Will Jaiden be present? And more importantly… will he talk?
- Can the Dolphins contain Collin long enough to frustrate him into trying defense?
- Will goalie bench shenanigans strike again?
Prediction: Too close to call, but if the Mariguanas come in with the right energy and Jaiden doesn’t implode the lineup, they have the edge. But don’t count out the Dolphins and their late-game chaos magic.
Championship Game Preview (Scenario 2): Mariguanas vs. Remember the Armadillos
A rematch from Week 4, where the Mariguanas outplayed the Armadillos but let them hang around too long, this matchup offers tons of potential drama. The Mariguanas won 6-3, but it should’ve been worse, and both sides probably know it.
The Armadillos will be coming off a game already, so fatigue is a factor, but if Micah and Penn make surprise appearances, things could get interesting. The Mariguanas will need to avoid the trap of playing down to the Dillos’ pace, which has turned into their signature move.
This game likely comes down to whether or not Collin and BVV can break the game open early, or if Minerd and the boys can slow things down and hang around long enough to make it disfunctional.
Key to Watch:
- Will the Mariguanas finish their chances early or give the Dillos room to hope?
- Can Foss or Mallery survive two games in one night?
- Will Jaiden implode his own team from the bench or the boards?
Prediction: If the Mariguanas show up locked in, they should handle this. But if the Dillos force it into the third tied or within a goal, don’t be surprised if this one ends in classic SARHL chaos—and maybe another Jake OT winner for nostalgia’s sake.
Final Thoughts:
- The Mariguanas are favorites—but the gap isn’t as big as it looks.
- The Dolphins thrive in disorder. The Armadillos are built from it.
- There’s no way this ends cleanly. Expect a late goal, a weird bounce, or a ref whistle we’ll talk about all summer.
Buckle up. The Spring SARHL Playoffs are here, and we’re hoping for little more than a mess and a single metldown.
Quick Stats
Standings
| Team | W | L | OTL | Pts |
| Titos Punch | 3 | 0 | 1 | 7 |
| Sauced Mozz | 2 | 1 | 1 | 5 |
| Big Smasher | 1 | 3 | 0 | 2 |
p = President’s Trophy
* = Clinched Playoff Berth
e = Eliminated from Playoffs
League Leaders
| Player | Team | G | A | Pts |
| Van Vlymen, B | TP | 10 | 5 | 15 |
| Hernandez, J | TP | 7 | 4 | 11 |
| Iacarella, C | SM | 7 | 2 | 9 |
| Goalie | Team | W | GAA | SV% |
| Rodriguez, F | GU | 3 | 5.00 | 0.804 |
| Newton, T | GU | 1 | 5.00 | 0.815 |
| Frizzell, B | GU | 1 | 7.00 | 0.754 |
Minimum 1 games played
League News
Week 4 Recap
Game 1 – Mariguanas vs. Remember the Armadillos
The final week of the abbreviated Spring season kicked off with a 6-3 win for the Mariguanas—and yet, somehow, they still managed to look like the second-best team on the rink. Despite holding off a depleted Armadillos squad missing half its core, the Mariguanas made this game closer than it had any business being.
Final Score:
Mariguanas 6, Remember the Armadillos 3
Goal Scorers for the Mariguanas:
- Collin Iacarella (x2) – Still allergic to passing and defense, still the league’s most effective black hole
- Brian Van Vlymen (x1) – Picked up 3 assists, but they were more like “rebound encouragements” than intentional passes
- Ashton Baggett (x2) – Alternating between impact player and invisible man; this game was the good one
- Alex Casella (x1) – Quietly snuck in the game-winner, then almost walked off the rink mid-celebration
Goal Scorers for Remember the Armadillos:
- Micah Deary (x1) – On the scoresheet and their in body, but the spirit just wasn’t there. Maybe next game.
- Mike Mallery (x1) – No injuries, no complaints, and one tube of Ben Gay waiting on the bench. That’s a winning attitude if we’ve ever seen one.
- Matt Gilbert (x1) – Demanded to play on a line with Popham, scored, reminded everyone about it, then did absolutely nothing.
Game Notes:
The Great Disappearing Act: Minerd and Penn
The Armadillos came into this one without their fearless leaders Andrew Minerd and Coach Penn, which meant less structure and even less strategy. Somehow, Micah made the scoresheet, but anyone who watched the game would’ve assumed he showed up just to tie his skates and leave.
No Jaiden = Mariguanas Finally Function
The Mariguanas were missing Captain Chaos Jaiden Hernandez, and the results speak for themselves: they played like a normal, functioning hockey team. We assume Jaiden gave Collin Iacarella specific instructions before the game, and we know for a fact Collin ignored all of them. Good call.
Mallery: No Assaults, One Goal, All Smiles
For the first time in what feels like seasons, Mike Mallery made it through a game without being tripped, cross-checked, slashed, or accused of faking one. He even scored a goal and celebrated with a nice rubdown of Ben Gay and a smile that said, “I still got it.”
Gilbert + Popham = Midrange Hype, Midrange Results
The duo demanded to play together, and they did produce a goal, but the swagger didn’t quite match the stat line. While they found the net, neither looked ready to wear the captain’s “C,” unless it stands for “cool story, bro.”
Scorekeeping & Officiating: Heroes of the Day
Zack Merullo stepped into the ref role like a deer into traffic—wide-eyed and mildly terrified—but thanks to unpaid intern-level scorekeeping backup, he got through it. Hats off to all involved for keeping the chaos contained and the whistles under control. Barely.
Final Thoughts:
- The Mariguanas won but should feel no pride in this performance.
- The Armadillos were missing key pieces but still made it a game.
- Mallery finally found peace, and the net.
- Collin continues to dominate while actively ignoring the concept of teamwork.
- Zack the Ref deserves hazard pay and an assist.
Game 2 – Mariguanas vs. Disoriented Dolphins
Game 2 wrapped up the regular season with a whimper rather than a bang, as the Mariguanas downed the Disoriented Dolphins 6-3 in another underwhelming contest where nothing really mattered, no one really tried, and everyone seemed vaguely annoyed to be there. No Jaiden? No problem. In fact, if the season was longer, the Mariguanas might consider making that a long-term strategy.
Final Score:
Mariguanas 6, Disoriented Dolphins 3
Goal Scorers for Mariguanas:
- Ashton Baggett (x1) – His “every other game” pattern continues. This was an “off” game.
- Collin Iacarella (x2) – Even managed to pass this week. Probably a glitch. Attitude still questionable.
- Ray Ortega (x1) – Finding his stride now that the season’s over. On-brand.
- Ray Salvano (x1) – Made his presence known. Then complained about the other 12 Rays in the league. Understandable. Noted.
- Brian Van Vlymen (x1) – The most garbage goal in peak garbage time. Oscar the Grouch levels of trash.
Goal Scorers for Disoriented Dolphins:
- David Narvaiz (x1) – Put one in for the interns. A proud papa moment captured live.
- Ryan Lewis (x1) – Everyone swears he’s good. The box score continues to disagree.
- Jake Hernandez (sub) (x1) – Ghosted his own team in Game 1, popped off here instead. Poetic.
Game Notes:
The Junior & Rick Void
The Dolphins felt the absence of their usual chaos agents, Junior and Rick Odom, in both scoring and falling. Their replacements, Popham and Jake, tried to fill the void, but really just gave the starters time to sit down and wheeze quietly.
Collin’s Playmaking Awakening (Maybe?)
For the first time all season, Collin Iacarella started passing the puck. He picked up a handful of assists and might’ve tricked some folks into thinking he’s a complete player. Don’t be fooled. This was clearly a one-off performance caused by the gravitational alignment of the moons of Jupiter. And no Jaiden,
Felipe and Greg’s Bench Swap Shenanigans
Both goalies—Felipe Rodriguez and Greg Artzberger—decided to upstage everyone by switching benches before the game, just to confuse both teams and the scorekeeper. It worked. Players were constantly turning to the wrong net for water breaks, and we’re pretty sure someone tried to high-five the opposing goalie after a goal. Typical for the SARHL, though.
BVV’s Garbage Time Glory
BVV padded the stats with a goal so meaningless, we’re not sure anyone on the ice acknowledged it. It was classic BVV: quiet all game, then appearing in the final seconds to tap in a rebound and raise his arms like he’d ended world hunger. Legendary.
An Unmemorable Finish
The game itself was forgettable in every possible way, but no one wants to take the blame, so we’re chalking it up to heat, fatigue, and general end-of-season apathy. Nothing to see here.
Final Thoughts:
- The Mariguanas secured first place and a bye straight to the championship game.
- Too bad for them Jaiden might be back. That’s the real twist.
- The Dolphins continue to look more like a team of talented strangers than a cohesive unit.
- Goalie mind games stole the show. Everyone else mailed it in.
- The Rays may need a numbering system going forward. Ray 1, Ray 2… it ends there.
The regular season ends not with fireworks, but with a polite golf clap. Time to gear up for playoffs—where the games (hopefully) matter again, and the effort might return to the ice. Might.
Sponsors
