San Antonio Roller Hockey League
Updates
Important Info
Week 1 – 09/27/2026
8:00PM: Donnie Darko (H) vs Fast & Furious (A)
9:00PM: Donnie Darko (H) vs Fear & Loathing (A)
As always, check Facebook for updates and pick-up
Last site update: 09/27/26 00:22
Game Previews
02/15/2020 – Week 4 Preview
Heading into week 4, we figured we would see a dominant team start to emerge, and while one team stands undefeated, they’ve by no means been running away with any game. This may be the most competitive season.
 (1-2-0) |
VS |
 (3-0-0) |
In the opening game, we have one team that is barely over-performing up against another that is hot and cold, sometimes as often as period to period. The undefeated Bounty Hunters put it all on the line as they face off against the scrappy Tusken Raiders. This one just may come down to who shows up.
The Tusken Raiders had their game against the R2D2s wrapped up after the first half last week, but a complete offensive collapse saw their 4-goal lead disappear in the last 5 minutes of the game as they gave up 5 unanswered. Determined to not make the same mistake, Raiders captain Mike Mallery has sworn off giving Evan Cumpston a sub opportunity. “I tried him last season. Bust. I tried him last week. Bust. At some point, I have to realize that I’m the problem here because I keep giving him chances.”
The Bounty Hunters have a lot of pressure on their shoulders if they want to maintain that perfect record. After a handy shelacking of the Raiders in week 1, the Hunters have barely scraped together the last two wins, each by a single goal. Said Hunters captain Nicholas McMahon, “I asked (Chris) Read to bring whatever he had last week and share it with the team. He calls it ‘pre-workout.’ We all know what that’s code for.”
Players to Watch
The Raiders Jacob Hernandez is proving to be the heart and soul of this team as he shares the team lead in points. The Raiders are going to need another big game from him to overcome the Hunters this week.
The Hunters relied heavily on Chris Read last week, and all signs indicate to that being the case again this week. Whether it’s scoring goals, running people over, or just being a massive nuisance, Read is going to be a handful for the Raiders.
 (2-1-0) |
VS |
 (0-3-0) |
The late game has one team riding an emotional wave taking on a team that is turning things around. The R2D2s pulled off an immprobable victory last week, but the Jar Jars dropped a heart breaker. Don’t be surprised to see the Jar Jars come out on top of this one.
The R2s are a strong offensive team, but their game goes as Gary Burdge goes. Burdge is on a tear this season racking up just shy of 6 points per game. So far, the R2s have found a way to keep Burdge focused, and if they continue to do so, they will be a difficult team to beat. “It’s fun watching him play right now,” said R2’s captain Andrew Minerd. “But, no, I have no idea when he’s going to crash back down to reality. I do expcet it to be spectacular, though. Like a train wreck.”
The Jar Jars looked like a team with a better record than 0-3. The return of captain David Penn and a surprising jump to forward for goalie Anthony Smith revitalized this team. The absence of forward Preston Kinney was notable, and with a full squad this week, the Jar Jars could be on track to upset the R2s. “I don’t want to say this team was lost without me,” claimed Penn. “But I am a calming presence, and my team responded. Without me, the team was all ‘Bawk! Bawk! Bawk!’. With me here, it’s serenity.” It should be noted that we were not interviewing Penn. And he wasn’t talking to anyone that we could see.
Players to Watch
Dan Kuntzleman of the R2s is looking to have a rebound game this week. Last week was a down week for Dan, but he’s looking to get back to his week 1 game where he netted 4 goals.
For the Jar Jars, a lot of their offense to this point has relied on Evan Cumpston. With the return of Penn, some of the load has been taken off his shoulders. If his ankle is fully healed, Cumpston may just have the confidence to open up on the R2s.
Quick Stats
Standings
| Team | W | L | OTL | Pts |
| Titos Punch p | 4 | 2 | 2 | 10 |
| Big Smasher * | 4 | 3 | 1 | 9 |
| Sauced Mozz * | 4 | 3 | 1 | 9 |
p = President’s Trophy
* = Clinched Playoff Berth
e = Eliminated from Playoffs
League Leaders*
| Player | Team | G | A | Pts |
| Yupanqui. J | BS | 18 | 4 | 22 |
| Hernandez, J | TP | 12 | 7 | 19 |
| Iacarella, C | SM | 11 | 6 | 17 |
| Goalie | Team | W | GAA | SV% |
| Rodriguez, F | GU | 3 | 5.00 | 0.804 |
| Newton, T | GU | 1 | 5.00 | 0.815 |
| Frizzell, B | GU | 1 | 7.00 | 0.754 |
Minimum 1 games played
League News
Week 1 Recap
Game 1 – River Sharks v Stray Cats
The first game of the season kicked off this past Sunday with the River Sharks hosting the Stray Cats, and boy, was it a doozy. While the scorekeeper may have lost track of the action, we sure didn’t. Let’s dive into this roller hockey frenzy with our entirely factual (definitely not highly fictional) recap.
Final Score: River Sharks 6 vs. Stray Cats 10
After a flurry of goals, questionable goaltending strategies, and some creative gear choices, the Stray Cats clawed their way to a victory over the River Sharks.
Goals Galore:
The River Sharks came out strong with Junior leading the charge and netting two goals to set the tone. Jaiden Hernandez, Ryan Lewis, Ray Ortega, and Art “The Shark” all found the back of the net, keeping the Sharks competitive throughout the game.
The Stray Cats, however, had the offensive edge. Glenn Domingo miraculously found his way on the board after only a single scare of projectile vomit, and once Mallery put one past the goalie, everyone on the Sharks’ bench knew they were in trouble—if you let Mallery score, you may as well just give up. Team captain Andrew Minerd and Micah Deary both delivered multiple goals each, and Brandon Popham added to the Cats’ goal parade.
Moments to Remember:
- DeGroff’s Arrival and Attire Choices: The Stray Cats’ Chris DeGroff made a memorable entrance, showing up just a litle late and borrowing gear from anyone within shouting distance. It worked, though, as he quickly found himself embroiled in the melee and picking up a couple of apples.
- Taylor’s “Innovative” Goaltending Technique: Stray Cats’ goalie Taylor Newton decided to test out a new strategy: dropping to his knees a full 20 seconds before a shot was even in sight. While the strategy didn’t exactly pan out, it was a sight to behold and certainly gave the River Sharks’ forwards something to think about before burying a shot.
- The Foss Fall Counter: Only once did Dave Foss take an unfortunate tumble to the floor, a surprisingly low number given his track record. There’s been whispers that he’s been working on his balance all summer, and it’s paying off.
All in all, the opener provided an electrifying start to the season, filled with goal-scoring fireworks and entertaining chaos on both sides of the rink. With both teams showcasing their offensive talents and their unique quirks, it’s safe to say the season ahead is going to be anything but boring.
Game 2 – River Sharks v Tarantulas
After a hard-fought opener, the River Sharks faced a doubleheader challenge, returning to the rink to take on the Tarantulas. Though their energy was stretched thin, the Sharks showed plenty of heart in a matchup that brought both skill and some memorable antics.
Final Score: River Sharks 3 vs. Tarantulas 7
Despite the Sharks’ determined effort, the Tarantulas proved to have the upper hand, steadily pulling away to secure the win.
The Goals & Highlights:
The River Sharks, fighting through fatigue, managed to put points on the board with goals from Ryan Lewis, Junior, and Will Newell. Junior continued to lead the charge for his team, adding to his goal tally from Game 1. Meanwhile, the Tarantulas’ offense was relentless, with Collin Iacarella lighting up the scoreboard with three goals, while Kaleb Morley and Captain Penn each netted two, giving their side a solid offensive push.
Moments to Remember:
- The Rick Odom Baby Key Dangle: Rick Odom of the Tarantulas had the kind of game that could only be described as pure joy. Paired up with Captain Penn, Odom’s excitement was on full display as he laughed and grinned at every pass, trick, and play, resembling a baby mesmerized by a set of car keys. It’s safe to say the chemistry is real—and hilariously entertaining.
- The Dixon/Travis Conundrum: A debate broke out over who looks like whom between Adam Dixon and Travis Laveault. The consensus? Dixon is the spitting image of a short-haired Travis, while Travis could pass for a long-haired Dixon. The resemblance was so uncanny that the whole rink found themselves collectively confused and (mildly) disturbed. Apparently, the real question is who’s more offended by the comparison—though the answer seems to be: everyone else.
- Jaiden’s Questionable Praise: In a post-game moment of pure sincerity (or maybe not), River Sharks captain Jaiden Hernandez gave the highest of compliments to the game’s referee, calling them “the best he’s ever seen.” Whether you read that as genuine praise or the deadpan sarcasm it was meant to be, the officiating certainly got its moment in the spotlight.
- Felipe’s Second Period Heroics: Special recognition goes to River Sharks’ goalie Felipe Rodriguez, who put on a masterclass in the second period to keep his team within reach. Rodriguez made save after save, often in spectacular fashion, denying the Tarantulas from turning the game into a complete blowout. While the Sharks couldn’t capitalize enough on those stops, Felipe’s performance certainly kept the game from spiraling.
The Tarantulas, with their potent attack and contagious enthusiasm, found a way to secure their win. As for the River Sharks, they’ll be looking to shake off the wear-and-tear of their doubleheader and prepare for what lies ahead. Stay tuned as the season ramps up and the rivalries keep heating up!
Sponsors
