San Antonio Roller Hockey League

Playoffs are here, and that can only mean one thing – tears. Lots of tears.

Game 1

We get to see the biggest mismatch in round 1 since Los Chupacabras took on the Unicorns.  Oddly enough, it’s the same captains… just in reverse roles.

The Stay Pufts are one bad bounce away from the perfect season, but after that loss back in week 1, they’ve been on cruise control.  Anchored by David “DBran” Penn on defense and supported by the offensive output of Brian van Vlymen, the Stay Pufts are tough at both ends of the ice.  Toss in a little “part time” Dakota Apperson and a backstop in the name of Felipe Rodriguez, and this team has more strengths than weaknesses.  Let’s also not forget to mention Dane Ortiz, Chris “Bulldozer” Read, and slick Jacob Hernandez who netted a couple of sweet goals in San Angelo.  If not for van Vlymen, it would be interesting to pit this team against the Unicorns of last season.

On the other end of the rink, we see the Ghoulies.  The Ghoulies lived up to their logo and swam around in the toilet all season.  Ghoulie goalie Anthony Smith said he is going to bring playoff goalie Anthony Smith for this game.  Meanwhile, the rest of the team could sure use the offensive prowess of Evan Cumpston who has been MIA for lengths of this season.  David Foss is going to have to channel his defensive play from his Unicorn days while James Kopalchick and Corey Huffman continue to create havoc at both ends of the ice – intentially or otherwise.  Brad Repka is going to have to step up and show us what he’s been saving all season.

Game 2

The second game pits the Body Snatchers against the Aliens.  This has snooze-fest written all over it.

The Body Snatchers started off the season by giving the Stay Pufts their only blemish on the thier record, so we know this team has what it takes to go the distance.  This may depend on which Chad Miller shows up in net, though.  We’ve seen 2-goal Chad and we’ve seen 12-goal Chad.  It may just be a spin of the dice… or a roll of the wheel.  The Body Snatchers are going to have to rely on the trio of Marc Redinger, Robert “I’m too sexy for my face” Robles, and Andrew Minerd to dictate the pace.  Their backup players are going to have to play a big part if they want to advance to the next round.  Brian Gray is coming off a career night, but let’s not kid ourselves, it was against the Ghoulies.  James Nealy may show up? Justin Tran and Greg Artzberger will be looking to contribute at both ends, and they’ll need to if this team hopes to bring home the cup.

The 3-3-0 Aliens have to be one of the most mediocre teams ever.  Not too flashy, not too boring.  They do everything safe.  We even heard they have a buddy system for dangerous activities such as crossing the street or taking a shower.  Goalies Taylor Newton has demanded his team start passing to him.  That’s all we need to say about that.  The tandem of Gary Burdge and Phil Heichel is one of the more dangerous lines in the league and could easily be the determining factor of the playoffs.  Mix in some hockey wisdom from Colin Lang, and this team has the ingredients to go far.  Maybe even two rounds deep!  Peter Guevara had flashes of brilliance last year, and we’re hoping to see some of that again for the playoffs.  Corey Calandra and Augustus Vargas have been on a steady improving incline and will need to bring their best if they want to hoist the cup.  That leaves the part timers of John Smith and Robert Rivera.   Rivera has been showing up, but we haven’t seen Smith since week 2?

Championship

No predictions.  No previews.  This is just for fun, guys.