San Antonio Roller Hockey League
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06/14/2026
Week 4
8:00 PM | Big Smasher (H) vs Titos Punch (A)
9:00 PM | Big Smasher (H) vs Sauced Mozz (A)
We are a little behind on stats and updates this week. They will be completed ASAP.
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Last site update: 06/13/26 01:28
Game Previews
Week 5 Preview
Czechia Pulls Double Duty
“Consistency Meets Exhaustion”
After Week 4’s… whatever that was… we roll into Week 5 with Czechia taking center stage for both games. They’ve quietly become the most annoyingly effective team in the league — not flashy, not dominant, just… always there.
🍝 Game 1: Czechia vs Italy
“Structure vs Chaos”
Season Series So Far:
- Czechia 4 – Italy 3 (SO, Week 2)
- Czechia 10 – Italy 9 (SO, Week 3)
So yeah — Czechia has won both in shootouts. One tight, one insane. It’s worth nothing that Italy has scored 0 goals in 9 total shootout attempts. Might be time to try something different:
What Czechia Needs
- Micah Deary to show up and keep playing like a cheat code.
- Minerd to change nothing. It’s working. Do not tinker.
- Taylor Newton to continue being the most reliable thing about this team.
- Dave Foss to maybe bring some orange slices?
What Italy Brings
- Ashton Baggett coming off a hat trick and possibly a newborn child. Is he ballsy enough to show up to this game?
- Narvaiz continuing to be the most consistent Italian not named Ray.
- Ray Ortega, who is due for either 3 goals or 3 penalties. Possibly both.
- Felipe… maybe? Or we get Rick Round 2.
Key Question
Can Czechia slow this game down or are they going to wear themselves out playing keep-up in another goal fest?
Prediction
This feels like the game where Italy finally flips the script.
Too many close calls. Too much unfinished business.
Italy 6 – Czechia 4
- Junior finds a way back into the goal column
- Narvaiz chips in
- Someone named Ray scores and we argue about which one
🥶 Game 2: Czechia vs Russia
“Fatigue vs Frustration”
Season Series So Far:
- Russia 5 – Czechia 3
- Czechia 3 – Russia 2
- Russia 1 – Czechia 3
Czechia has the lead in this series as they slowly strangle the offensive life out of Russia.
What Russia Needs
- Jaiden to show up (bare minimum requirement)
- Greg to shake off last week
- Augie to hulk out and smash!
- Someone other than Jacob getting stuck back on defense
What Czechia Faces
Second game of the night.
That means:
- Heavy legs
- Short shifts (in theory)
- And someone forgetting what period it is
Key Question
Can Czechia maintain their structure after a full game?
Because when they’re structured, they win.
When they’re tired, things get weird fast.
Russia thrives in weird.
Prediction
This is where the double header bites Czechia.
Russia finally strings together a full game — or at least enough of one.
Russia 5 – Czechia 3
- Ryan Lewis shows up just enough
- Jaiden says something inspirational that no one follows or understands
- Czechia runs out of gas halfway through the third
🔥 Players to Watch (Milk Carton Edition)
- Micah Deary (CZE) – If he shows up, could be the most dangerous player in the league right now
- Ashton Baggett (ITA) – We’re not expecting him, but he has shown up in situations no one else would have
- Collin Iacarella (RUS) – It’s not a double-header week, so it’s likely we won’t be seeing him
- Jaiden Hernandez (RUS) – We expect him to be show up as long as he didn’t get trapped inside that cheese ball container
- Honorable Mention: Mike Mallery (CZE) – Fresh off scoring… which means regression is coming followed by tantrums…
Week 5 Themes
- Double header fatigue
- Revenge games
- At least one controversial goal. Who are we kidding. They are all controversial.
- Someone definitely yelling at the ref about something that may or may not have happened
Czechia’s got two chances to control the standings…
or completely unravel.
Quick Stats
Standings
| Team | W | L | OTL | Pts |
| Titos Punch | 3 | 0 | 1 | 7 |
| Sauced Mozz | 2 | 1 | 1 | 5 |
| Big Smasher | 1 | 3 | 0 | 2 |
p = President’s Trophy
* = Clinched Playoff Berth
e = Eliminated from Playoffs
League Leaders
| Player | Team | G | A | Pts |
| Van Vlymen, B | TP | 10 | 5 | 15 |
| Hernandez, J | TP | 7 | 4 | 11 |
| Iacarella, C | SM | 7 | 2 | 9 |
| Goalie | Team | W | GAA | SV% |
| Rodriguez, F | GU | 3 | 5.00 | 0.804 |
| Newton, T | GU | 1 | 5.00 | 0.815 |
| Frizzell, B | GU | 1 | 7.00 | 0.754 |
Minimum 1 games played
League News
Week 5 Recap
Game 1: Czechia 7 – Italy 6 (OT)
“Same Script, Slightly Different Ending”
If you’re looking for league parity, just watch Czechia vs Italy. These two teams refuse to play a normal hockey game like adults. This is the SARHL version of brothers separated by about a year.
This time, mercifully, it ended in overtime instead of another six-round shootout of sadness.
📊 Scoring Summary
| Per | Time | Team | Goal Scorer | Assists | Score |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 1:15 | Czechia | Popham, Brandon | Minerd, Andrew | Czechia 1 – 0 Italy |
| 1 | 4:34 | Czechia | Sanftner, Roger | Popham, Brandon | 2 – 0 |
| 1 | 8:53 | Italy | M, Nathan | Yupanqui, Junior | 2 – 1 |
| 1 | 10:50 | Italy | M, Nathan | Salvano, Ray | 2 – 2 |
| 1 | 11:43 | Italy | Narvaiz, David | Ortega, Ray | 2 – 3 |
| 2 | 6:27 | Italy | Narvaiz, David | none | 2 – 4 |
| 2 | 9:42 | Italy | Gilbert, Matt | M, Nathan | 2 – 5 |
| 3 | 3:43 | Czechia | Minerd, Andrew | none | 3 – 5 |
| 3 | 5:41 | Czechia | Minerd, Andrew | Popham, Brandon | 4 – 5 |
| 3 | 9:00 | Czechia | Mallery, Mike (PP) | Sanftner, Roger | 5 – 5 |
| 3 | 10:18 | Italy | M, Nathan | none | 5 – 6 |
| 3 | 11:23 | Czechia | Minerd, Andrew | Popham, Brandon | 6 – 6 |
| OT | 0:48 | Czechia | Popham, Brandon | Hadley, Faye (Sub) | 7 – 6 |
🚨 Penalty Summary
| Per | Time | Team | Player | Infraction | PIM |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | 7:47 | Italy | Narvaiz, David | Too Many Men | 2:00 |
🤨 Notable (Or Not) Moments
- Felipe Rodriguez Holdout Continues
Still no tamales. Still no Felipe.
At this point, this is less a protest and more a lifestyle choice. Stay strong, brother. - Rick Odom Progress Report
Only ~13 F-bombs this game.
Emotional maturity is trending upward. - Roger Sanftner: Jersey Name Guy
Still the only one making sure we know who he is.
Honestly, respect. - Ray Ortega Commits Crimes
Stick grabbing. Publicly.
League intervention required. Ray remains shocked. - Mallery Goal = League Disturbance
Not only did he score…
It was on a pass that wasn’t a pass… off a goalie… during a powerplay…
and he immediately got benched for it. Justice. - Minerd Goes Full Captain America
Hat trick, including a center-ice missile with 30 seconds left.
Intermission “meltdown” resulting in game swinging to Czechia’s favor.
Completely normal stuff. - Ashton Baggett Nowhere to be Found
He was on last week.
He was barely visible this week.
We said it before, he just disappeared like a fart in the wind. This will never get old.
🧠 Game Flow (a loose interpretation of reality)
- Czechia jumps out early (2-0)
- Italy responds by scoring five straight
- Czechia remembers they’re Czechia and claws back
- Italy takes the lead again late
- Minerd says “no”
- Overtime lasts less than a minute
This wasn’t a game. It was a series of emotional swings disguised as hockey. No one went home happy.
💭 Final Thoughts
- These two teams are inseparable
- Defense is still optional
- Every game between them feels like it should be illegal
And somehow… it keeps getting better.
Also:
Russia watching this like:
“Yeah we’re not competing with that.”
Correct.
⭐ Three Stars
★ Brandon Popham (Czechia)
2 goals including the OT winner, plus an assist.
Still needs an emotional support blanky.
★★ Andrew Minerd (Czechia)
Hat trick, leadership meltdown, center-line heroics.
Captain things.
★★★ Nathan (Italy)
Hat trick of his own and constant offensive pressure.
Still not enough because… Czechia doing Czechia things.
🏁 Closing Line
Czechia finally gets one without a shootout…
Italy refuses to go away…
And somehow, we all know they’re going to do this again.
Game 2: Czechia 5 – Russia 2
“From G.W.A.R. to Kenny G”
After a Game 1 that felt like a full-blown hockey fever dream, Game 2 brought us right back to reality — slow, uneventful, and just structured enough for Czechia to quietly take care of business.
No chaos. No drama. Just a methodical dismantling of a team that continues to find new and creative ways to lose.
📊 Scoring Summary
| Per | Time | Team | Goal Scorer | Assists | Score |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 4:17 | Russia | M, Nathan (Sub) | Hadley, Faye | Czechia 0 – 1 Russia |
| 1 | 6:13 | Czechia | Narvaiz, David (Sub) | Sanftner, Roger | 1 – 1 |
| 2 | 11:03 | Czechia | Minerd, Andrew | none | 2 – 1 |
| 3 | 0:59 | Czechia | Narvaiz, David (Sub) | Mallery, Mike | 3 – 1 |
| 3 | 6:36 | Czechia | Galwell, Chuck | none | 4 – 1 |
| 3 | 9:12 | Russia | Hernandez, Jaiden | none | 4 – 2 |
| 3 | 11:59 | Czechia | Minerd, Andrew | none | 5 – 2 |
🚨 Penalty Summary
| Per | Time | Team | Player | Infraction | PIM |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | 4:44 | Czechia | Sanftner, Roger | Tripping | 2:00 |
🤨 Notable (Or Not) Moments
- Rick Odom: The Doubleheader Nobody Asked For
Two games. Two teams. Zero enthusiasm.
And yet… somehow not the reason Russia lost. Officially. - Greg Artzberger MIA
At this point, we’re just assuming he’s scouting pickleball leagues.
His tempermant demands it. - Jaiden Returns
He brings as much hope as what’s left in that demolished container of cheese balls.
Morale remained critically low. - Nathan Subbing and Doing All the Work
Russia’s offense: “Nathan, please.”
Nathan: tries
Rest of team: exists - Chuck Galwell Sighting
Confirmed real person.
Confirmed goal scorer.
Still unclear where he came from or where he went. - Narvaiz “Basking in the Glow”
Subs in. Scores twice. Leaves.
Absolute mercenary behavior. Total menace. - Roger Gets on the Board
When in doubt, take a penalty.
He’s learning how his fantasy stats work. - Minerd Pads the Stats
Empty calorie goal with 1 second left.
Covers the spread. Vegas is thrilled.
Said he was feeling “fat and sassy”.
🧠 Game Flow
- Russia scores first (everyone confused)
- Czechia ties immediately (order restored)
- Minerd gives Czechia the lead late in the second
- Third period = slow suffocation
- Russia briefly pretends to care
- Minerd ends it with unnecessary flair
💭 Final Thoughts
This was the most dangerous kind of Czechia game:
- Calm
- Controlled
- Completely inevitable
No fireworks. No breakdowns. Just a team that knows exactly what it is.
Meanwhile, Russia continues to:
- Show flashes
- Get decent sub help
- And still not matter
⭐ Three Stars
★ Andrew Minerd (Czechia)
2 goals including the “why not” buzzer-beater.
Still doing everything.
★★ David Narvaiz (Czechia – Sub)
Subbed in, scored twice, left spiritually fulfilled.
★★★ Nathan (Russia – Sub)
Scored quickly and tried to drag Russia into relevance.
He did not succeed.
🏁 Closing Line
Game 1 was chaos.
Game 2 was control.
Everyone keeps saying “Wait until the playoffs” when every team has every player show up. This will be a relentless shit show.
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